Classic Theater Guild is pleased to announce auditions for Neil Simon’s comedy, “RUMORS”

MONDAY and WEDNESDAY, 3/27/17 and 3/29/17 from 7:00 PM to 9 PM at Congregation Beth Israel, 2195 Eastern Pkwy, Schenectady, NY 12309. Parking is available through the Union St parking lot entrance.
  • Please memorize a short comedic monologue (2 – 4 minutes) 
  • Audition will also include group improv games. 
  • You may bring a current resume and head shot if you have one.
  • Please direct all inquiries to classictheaterguild@gmail.com
Play Synopsis:  At a large, tastefully appointed Sneden’s Landing townhouse, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself. Though only a flesh wound, four couples are about to experience a severe attack of Farce. Gathering for their tenth wedding anniversary, the host lies bleeding in the other room and his wife is nowhere in sight. His lawyer, Ken, and wife Chris, must get “the story” straight before the other guests arrive. As the confusions and mis-communications mount, the evening spins off into classic farcical hilarity.
Available ensemble roles are:
KEN GORMAN – (40) A well-to-do lawyer. Wealthy, but by no means pretentious. Takes
charge of the situation. Married to Chris. Halfway through the show, a gunshot causes his
temporary deafness.
CHRIS GORMAN – (mid-30’s) Another lawyer, married to Ken. Beautiful, easily flustered.
Frantically tries to maintain normalcy at the party. Has recently quit smoking, which
drives her to drink a bit more.LENNY GANZ – (Late 30’s, early 40’s) – A wealthy accountant, distraught over the recent
destruction over his new car. Starts the show with an extreme case of whiplash. Intolerant
of the gossipy-lifestyle that he is often involved in.CLAIRE GANZ – (Late 30’s) – Lenny’s wife. Very concerned with appearances (hers and
others’). Starts the play with a swollen lip. Likes to gossip.ERNIE CUSACK – (Early 50’s) – a psychiatrist. Affable, smokes a pipe. Loves his wife very
much. Tries to be as helpful as possible cooking the evening’s dinner.

COOKIE CUSACK – (40’s) – has her own cooking show. Suffers from extreme back spasms.
Loves her husband very much. A bit absent-minded at times.

GLENN COOPER – (30-40) A handsome man running for State Senate. Worried about his
own reputation. Struggles with placating his wife, who is convinced he is having an affair
(which he may or may not be).

CASSIE COOPER – (late 20’s, early 30’s) Glenn’s beautiful wife. Obsesses over her
husbands’ relationships with other women. Quick to anger. Must rub her quartz crystal to
calm herself down.

Supporting Roles:

OFFICER WELCH (M) – (30-50) – A city police officer having a rough night. Does not
tolerate lying. Sees through the “classy” façade that these high-society types put up.

OFFICER PUDNEY (F) – (20-30) – Welch’s partner. A strong but silent type.

  • Ages are suggestions but can be flexible.
  • We welcome all experienced applicants regardless of race, ethnicity or physical ability.
  • This is a non-equity, volunteer production.
  • You must be available for rehearsals at least 3 days a week in the evenings from 7 to 9:30 pm, and possibly some weekends.
  • Performance dates are planned for Thursday, 6/8 at 7:30; Sunday 6/11 at 2:00 and 7:30; Tuesday 6/13 through Thursday 6/15 at 7:30; and Sunday 6/18 at 2:00.
  • Tech week may require daily attendance from June 4 through opening night.

Tech week may require daily attendance from June 4 through opening night.

Thank you for your interest! We hope to see you there.